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Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Sucks To Be You!
Cougar Town Sarasota
Since we are all about Cougars, we felt that it was our duty to clear off the dust and comment on ABC's new series "Cougar Town". The new comedy sitcom which is premiering at this time, follows a still delicious Courtney Cox as a newborn Cougar coming out of a divorce to find the dating pool a little light in her age group. We are not going to bore you with the rest of the story as it is an easy follow, since 99% of America now knows what a 'Cougar' is. On a side note, Courtney Cox is a prime candidate for a "Cougars Now & Later" as she has progressed well into real life Cougar status from her days of dancing with Bruce Springsteen and hanging out with Ace Ventura. Also it should be noted that the local male neighbor on the show, who is divorced as well, continues to piss off Ms. Cox by banging down barely legal ass, classic!
What gets us most about this show is the idiotic way it is being received in Sarasota for two reasons: 1. One of the writers graduated from a local school (props to that dude for making something out of himself). 2. The Sarasota Herald Tribune ran a top of the page front page article on the show since they feel that our local patch of Florida real estate is 'Cougar Town'.....
First of all, the Herald Trib, might be one of the worst fishwraps in the nation and we are counting down the days until the NY Times implodes so that we dont have to bother ourselves with it anymore. But seriously, we think there are other fucking issues out there that require more attention then a front page article about some 40 plus divorced mother of 3 trying to bang down young cock outside of Cougar Feathers. We are concerned that the writer of the story has never actually been in the presence of a Cougar and more then likely is stuck having date night with his wife who has a huge lower abdominal gut that is directly above and overhanging her vagina.
Yes, there is a Cougar scene in this town and yes, some of those Cougars are worthy of full status....but if you venture out on a Friday night for some happy hour action, you are more likely to find the following:
You could waltz your way to Cougar Feathers and go home with these two pieces?
Maybe you would like to stop off at Ceviche and purchase a drink for these special dames?
Finally after getting plastered, you could work the Gator Club dance floor with the fine specimen in the middle, if you'd like?
In the end, Sarasota is nothing special except you have an area of concentrated wealth deeply in twined with a high number of divorced and recycled middle aged females, who now own half that wealth. Sure for a younger man the ratios may work in your favor cause you'll be stuck around over the hill dickbags trying to sport Ed Hardy everything, fishing in the female 20 yr old age pool. If a cougar vagina represents yourself and you feel the underlying desire to bang it, you bang it, and that isnt something that is worth representation on the front page of the local newspaper, in our opinion.
And if all else fails, you could just be gay with this guy!!!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
An Easy Way To Know Your Brother Is GAY!
WOODLAND, Calif. - The older brother of 2008 American League MVP Dustin Pedroia [stats] has pleaded guilty to engaging in sex acts with a minor.
Brett Pedroia, 30, admitted Thursday that he engaged in oral copulation four years ago with a boy between the ages of 10 and 14, the Yolo County court clerk’s office said. Another charge of oral copulation and two counts of lewd acts were dropped.
Sentencing was scheduled for June 30.
The Yolo County District Attorney’s office said it was under a court-imposed gag order and could not discuss the potential penalty Brett Pedroia faces.
Dustin Pedroia is the starting second baseman for the Boston Red Sox [team stats]. The brothers grew up in Woodland, a small town 20 miles northwest of Sacramento.
This tool is such an easy target!!!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Depression....
Economy got you down, dont worry these people feel the same way as you do....maybe the horns should announce our existance at this point!!!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The Economy Might Suck...
...but you can always bank on Gilligan's dropping courtesy beaver shots from local hussies on your broke ass this time of year! So get your tax return ready, throw on your "Tap Out" shirt, and make your way to the Key as the line up of bikini covered beef curtains will has begun!
....more to come!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
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